Shameless
by Color My Soul Blue
Summary: A collection of Dimitri and Rose moments throughout the Vampire Academy series all in Dimitri's point of veiw that I thought were worth putting into his point of view. T because this is Rose Hathaway we are dealing with.


**Basically my favorite parts of The Vampire Academy series all in Dimitri's Point of view. I did my best to go by the book and to keep them in order. I am not exactly sure how long it will be, it has parts from all the books. Yesss, I know this has been done many times before, I just couldn't resist. I have had this ongoing love(obsession) with him for far longer than I would like to admit.**

**If this is not already obvious, spoilers! If you have not finished the series yet beware, at the top of each little 'section' I have what book and what chapter the part is from. You have been warned!**

**Disclaimer:**

**The wonderful Richelle Mead owns the Vampire Academy series, the characters, and all of the dialogue. I just play in the sand box that she created.**

**Rated T, because**_**hello**_**this is Rose Hathaway we are dealing with and Dimitri may or may not curse... ;)**

**Enjoy!**

Vampire Academy (book 1) chapter 8: Dimitri busts in the lounge and catches Jesse and Rose

Was a shower really too much to ask for? I didn't think so but I am sure my double shifts would beg to differ. As I rounded the corner the stairs came into site. There was hope for this day yet.

"Guardian Belikov!" I repressed the cringe as my name was called.

_Oh for the love of all that's holy…._

I turned around to face a roundish Moroi janitor, trying to assemble an expression that didn't say "I am not unwilling to punch you right now".

"Yes? What can I do for you?" Those words would be my down fall.

"I just saw two kids go to the lounge on the fourth floor. I thought you would like to know." He said in a somewhat concerned tone.

I sighed out loud, having a pretty good idea who was up there. I managed a small smile and nodded to him.

Right. Well, back to business.

"Thank you. I will see to it." I marched up the stairs to the fourth floor. Hoping against hope that I wouldn't find Rose up there. _Please._

Pressing my ear against the almost nonexistent crack in the door, I listened.

"_- But if you want something to do with your mouth, I can give you some ideas."_

_Oh hell no_. I swore under my breath in Russian.

Without another thought the door was swung open with more force than necessary.

For the smallest of seconds my heart dropped. I smothered the disappointment as it rose up in my chest.

_Why? Why couldn't it be another student? Why did it have to be_**her**_?_

The door collided with the wall with a satisfying bang. The teens sprung apart with surprising speed. Leaving a half naked Rose partially exposed, but I barely spared her a glance. I let my disappointment and confusion morph into anger that was focused on the boy. For now.

I was across the room in three short strides surprising even myself as I lifted to boy up by the collar of his shirt with ease.

With some sick fascination I almost chuckled as I saw his panic set in.

My gaze settled on Rose for hardly a second. _Shirtless_. An urge of uncalled for jealously threatened to consume me.

While he was frozen with fear, my mind clouded over with ways I could punish him none of them appropriate for a Moroi. It wasn't my job to punish him, I knew that, so it would mean I would have to turn him into Moroi authority… which would only serve in getting Rose into trouble.

That didn't make the idea of making him run until he puked and then run some more any less appealing.

My two sides pulled at one another, each desperate for undivided attention. Guardian Belikov wanted to report them but Rose's mentor was telling me to keep my mouth shut.

I knew before I even made my decision that I wouldn't let anything happen to Rose.

"What's your name?" I ground out, barely managing to keep my voice under control.

"J-Jesse, sir. Jesse Zeklos, sir."

_That_ name. Now wasn't the time but still I couldn't stop the images from coming. Night after sleepless night it was always the same thing…. Until I had met Rose.

I clenched and unclenched my jaw forcing myself back to the current situation

The Zeklos boy was now visibly shaking.

"Mr. Zeklos, do you have permission to be in this part of the dorm?" I asked forcing as much authority into my voice that was possible. My drive punishment had vanished replaced by my tired emotions.

"No, sir." He replied in a meek voice. Royal façade gone completely.

"Do you know the rules about male and female interactions around here?" I asked. Only reminding myself of what could have gone down here if I hadn't shown up seconds before, I knew then there would be no stopping myself from endangering this kid's life no matter what his last name was.

I knew his game plan. My childhood was his game plan. Rose didn't deserve this, she deserved so much better than this royal could _ever_offer her.

Too many things were running through my mind at once, too many emotions.

I tried to remind myself that they were only immature childish teens, and _teens_ did this kind of thing all the time but this did nothing ease my excessive jealously.

But that's what got me, Rose wasn't just _any_ teenager she was so much more in so many different ways...

"Yes, sir." He would have told me he was pretty princess if I had asked him to. I didn't want to spend another moment having to look at him.

"Then I suggest you get out of here as fast as you can before I turn you over to someone who will punish you accordingly. If I ever see you like this again"- I pointed to where Rose was still sitting half undressed on the couch, "_I_will be the one to punish you. And it will hurt. A lot. Do you understand?" If possible his eyes seemed to grow even wider.

I could hear the unsaid threat ringing in my voice. "Yes Sir!" he practically whimpered.

"Then go." I said in a voice no louder than a whisper because I was at my breaking point, I could hardly tolerate anymore of this. I released my hold on his shirt and he ran with impressive speed out the door.

I turned to Rose for the first time since I had walked in and immediately wish I hadn't.

I tried to look at her with disapproval, I tried to feel how disgusted I felt when I walked in but I couldn't, I felt all my disapproval and previous thoughts being burned away by the fire that now coursed through my body.

She sat on that couch in nothing but jeans a black bra the color intensifying her gorgeous tan body. I knew I should have looked away but I couldn't find the will, hell I didn't _want_ to. She had my undivided attention, in more ways than I am willing to admit.

One glance at her anyone would know that she beautiful but seeing her like this, innocent and exposed, she was _stunning_. In ways that made me wonder what it would feel like to have her body pressed against mine. _Oh Roza._

My eyes were glued; my mind absolutely frozen. Slowly I let my eyes trail up her miraculous body, her shapely legs, across her soft curves, to her well endowed chest, savoring every moment until my eyes met her beautiful brown irises. I swear there was not one thing that wasn't beautiful about this_woman_. Dangerous emotions twisted within me. Fire burned in her eyes and I longed to quench it.

_She is your student for heaven's sake!_ That annoying voiced reminded me. What was I doing, what was I _thinking_?

I expected her to shy away from my boldness but she didn't seem like she able to. My traitorous heart would be the only thing that gave me away. And I thank the holy one that she spoke before I could act upon any of the thoughts running through my mind.

"You see something you like?" Rose asked in her true fashion, dropping her gaze from mine trying to hide her embarrassment.

"Get dressed." I order in a flat tone, tucking whatever feelings I had away for later.

Stunned for only a moment she scrambled to put her shirt on.

Her eyes drifted back to mine and I could see the battle within them, trying to force herself to believe that she was wrong about what was no doubt written across my face.

I forced myself to look away. Not only was I disappointed in her for what she had done but with myself.

The fog in my brain had finally cleared and I was able to think clearly, but that did nothing for my disgust. So much for self control which Roza seemed to think I had an unlimited supply of, if she only knew.

It was all too much. I wanted to be angry, more than anything. Anger was easy. But when I closed my eyes I could only see her lying there topless.

_Then don't blink._ That annoy voice all but snarled at me.

I was angry at the boy for running his hands over Roza, at Rose for disappointing me. I expected more out of her because she was better. And ten times better than _this_, _this_ was not the Rose I had come to know, but mostly at myself for letting my feelings get the better, for letting myself think that I could be better for of her, but most of all for expecting too much of her. I was no better than a hormonal teenage.

"How'd you find me? You following me to make sure I don't run away?" I could hear the irritation in her voice. _She_ was angry? Yes, that made perfect sense! The only one she should be angry at was _herself_. Not me.

I didn't know how much longer my temper would hold. How was it she the only one that could get me like this? Self control my ass. She has no idea.

"Be quiet." I snapped not feeling sorry in the least way. I leaned down so that we were eye level.

Annoyed as I was, my heart rate still picked up with our close proximity.

"A janitor saw you and reported it. Do you have any idea how stupid that was?"I asked bewildered.

Why couldn't she just be good why did she _always_ have to question the rules.

_Because that's not Roza_.

Didn't she understand that she needed to set her standards _now_letting _boys,_ especially royal Moroi boys, label her_that_ way could send everything down hill_very_ quickly? Didn't she know her entire future was on the line not only hers, but Lissa's? She had the makings of a good Guardian but if she didn't straighten up she would end up losing everything, and I couldn't …. Wouldn't let that happen to _her_, not when she was _my_ student.

"I know, I know, the whole probation thing, right?" She asked. I could see the fear in her eyes. Rose Hathaway afraid of me? Good.

"Not just that. I'm talking about the stupidity of getting in _that_ kind of situation in the first place." I say exasperated.

I saw the shift of fear to anger in her eyes. She hated when I treated her like this, hated when _anyone_ treated her like a child. "I get in _that_ kind of situation all the time, Comrade. It's not a big deal." She said mimicking my irritated tone.

No big deal? How could she not understand, how did she not know what she was risking.

I hated it.

The entire situation, I didn't want to stand around and watch her throw everything away. My irritation only grew at sound of my nickname, it was better that she thought I hated it, when that couldn't be farther from the truth. I had to hate.

It just wouldn't do for Rose to get close to me.

"Stop calling me that. You don't even know what you are talking about."

"Sure I do. I had to do a report on Russia and the R.S.S.R. last year." Always joking _always,_ never serious.

"_U_.S.S.R. And it _is_ a big deal for a Moroi to be with a Dhampir girl. They like to brag."

"So?" she asked incredulously.

"_So?_" Her answer took me by surprise. To say I was disappointed would be an understatement. _So_that was what all and every self respecting guardian rebelled against. She was better than that. I _know_she is. No, she didn't understand. A small part of me was wounded at her answer for unexplainable reasons.

"So don't you have any respect? Think about Lissa. You make yourself look cheap. You live up to what a lot of people already think about dhampir girls, and it reflects back on her. And me." I knew my words were harsh. I knew that. But I didn't seem like I was able to stop myself.

Her temper flared. "Oh, I see. Is that what this is about? Am I hurting your big, bad male pride? Are you afraid I'll ruin your reputation?"

"My reputation is already made, Rose. I set my standards and lived up to them long ago. What you do with yours remains to be seen." I said thoughtlessly. "Now get back to your room - if you can manage it without throwing yourself at someone else."

I had to wonder. Who I was really mad at? Myself or Rose? No, I didn't like what Rose had done, she had really let me down but it was a mistake. But me? I had no excuses for myself. I had let myself slip. I could really only blame myself for this tumor oil.

I wish that she had just stopped there and left it at that. But of course that wasn't possible.

"Is that your subtle way of calling me a slut?" I could hear the pain in her voice; see the anger clear in her eyes. And I wish _I_ would have stopped there, but before I could stop myself the words tumbled out.

"I hear the stories you guys tell. I've heard stories about you." I immediately regretted saying it.

True I _had_ heard stories. Even before I had met her Rose's reputation seemed to precede her. The stories were legendary some of them even among the faculty. About how the beautiful Rose Hathaway could drop you to your knees with a single look, I have even been witness to the way men droll over her, but I knew they weren't all true, or at least to some extent.

Rose was a lot of things but she wasn't that.

But unknowing to Rose her reputation as an outstanding student in her novice classes had been the stories I had first heard. Alberta herself had shared them with me, warning me that anything that involved Rose wouldn't be easy.

Truer words had never been spoken.

Rose deserved another chance and I was willing to give it to her, but she had to want it. She had to _try_.

The anger in her eyes vanished, replaced by hurt. How dense could I get? I wish I could take the words back. I wish I could hold her and tell her how I didn't mean any of it, but of course that wouldn't -couldn't happen. But gods knows I wanted it to.

I saw the tears flood to her eyes and her struggle to contain them, I felt like kicking myself.

So instead of doing what I really wanted, I did what I did best, shut down.

I refused to let her see. To let her _know_, there could only be pain that came with that, and I wouldn't do that to her. But no doubt my eyes told the unsaid story. I remembered how her face had lit up by a simple compliment I would do anything to see her smile again.

As usual I wasn't prepared for what she had to say next. "Why is it wrong to … I don't know, have fun? I'm seventeen, you know. I should be able to enjoy it."

Words so true it almost hurt, but the truth hurt. I wish she could have a normal 'teen' life, but that wasn't possible no matter how much I wanted it to happen for her.

"You're seventeen, and in less than a year, someone's life and death will be in your hands." The harsh reality of being a guardian, but it was the price we paid. "If you were human or Moroi, you could have fun. You could do things other girls could." I couldn't stand to see the pain in her eyes.

"But you're saying I can't."

I let her word sink in. It wasn't fair for her or _any_ young Dhampir to be forced into giving up their youth to serve and train but it was a price worth paying for a friend, and that's why Rose needed to understand just how high the stakes were.

"When I was seventeen, I met Ivan Zeklos. We weren't like you and Lissa, but we became friends, and he requested me as his guardian when I graduated. I was the top student in my school. I paid attention to everything in my classes, but in the end, it wasn't enough. That's how it is in this life. One slip, one distraction…." I sighed at the memory. "And it's too late."

Ivan had been one of the greatest friends that I had even known.

"Jesse's a Zeklos," _Yeah,_ I thought bitterly, _fortunately from him._

"I know."

"Does it bother you? Does he remind you of Ivan?"

In ways the boy did remind me of him; just the arrogance in the way they carried themselves but his actions not so much. But that was besides the point I didn't want to talk, much less think, about Ivan.

"It doesn't matter how I feel. It doesn't matter how any of us feel." I said avoiding the matter completely. I ignored to burn of memories trying to surface at the mere mention of his name.

_Your fault._

The words flashed across my mind without warning, I'd carry the weight of that truth forever.

I had let myself be selfish once and I'd be damned before I did it twice. I wasn't going to sit back a watch Rose repeat my mistakes.

"But it does bother you." I could see the realization in her eyes. "You hurt. Every day. Don't you? You miss him."

I didn't know how I was supposed to react.

My mind reeled. She truly saw, she actually got it, the reasons behind my actions behind my words.

She _did_ understand.

In that moment I realize how stupid I had been. I had let history repeat itself without even noticing, dooming myself to make the same mistakes. Just as Ivan had once done, Rose had gotten to me. She called my bluffs, saw what I hadn't meant to show. She saw _me_.

"It doesn't matter how I feel. _They_come first. Protecting them." I snapped out harsher than I meant to.

I must have done a better job at composing myself then I had thought but on the inside I was a complete wreck. She was quiet a moment before she spoke.

"Yeah. They do." She agreed and I could see that she had come to the harsh understanding.

I was quiet for a moment trying to gather my thoughts.

I knew that I meant it when I said that I _wouldn't_ let her fail, Rose would _not_ go through what I went through it would completely destroy her, and _I_ couldn't live with that. But my determination could only get her so far she had to want this for herself and Lissa more than anything.

"You told me you want to fight, to _really_ fight. Is that still true?" I asked.

"Yes. Absolutely." She said without hesitation. I almost smiled her determination.

I made my decision then, as long as she was willing I would teach her.

"Rose… I can teach you, but I have to believe you're dedicated. Really dedicated. I can't have you distracted my things like this." I said gesturing around the lounge. "Can I trust you?" I was breaking every rule I had made for myself by asking her this, but that didn't matter anymore.

Her eyes penetrated mine. A look of pure determination crossed her eyes that made me proud to call her my student. If she only knew the effect she had on me. "Yes. I promise." And I knew she meant it.

"All right. I'll teach you, but I need you strong. I know you hate the running, but it really is necessary. You have no idea what Strigoi are like. The school tries to prepare you, but until you've seen how strong they are and how fast…. well, you can't even imagine. So I can't stop the running and the conditioning. If you want to learn more about fighting, we need to add more training. It'll take up more of your time. You'll be tired. A lot." I knew I was asking a lot out of her, but if she truly wanted this I would help.

I saw the conformation in her eyes. "It doesn't matter. If you tell me to do it, I'll do it." I didn't have to question her, I knew she meant what she said. Her look of utter trust confirmed as much.

She would make a wonderful guardian and she already was a wonderful person, yeah she was a little rough around the edges but that's what made her Rose, Roza. I nodded at her.

"We'll start tomorrow."

I wondered what I had just gotten myself into.

**Ahhh Dimika and there you have it the first part of "Shameless".**

**I must say I had a lot of fun writing this! I would love hear what you have to say.**

**Sorry about any mistakes fell free to call me out on them.**

**Thanks for reading.**


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